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“Holy Motors”, Oscar drive limo, brothel got no limo, just donkey cart, hah! I see girl, she wink, I think, “Wery sexy time!” But then – boom – her tooth fall out, plop on floor. I scream, “What this?!” She laugh, say “souvenir”. Me confuse, but take tooth, put in pocket. True story, I swear, wery strange.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, monsoon level. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m cursing the weather gods, thinking, “Really, Pandino? You had to do me like this?” Marco’s laughing, and I’m just trying to find cover. We duck into this little shop on Via Cavour, and it’s like a treasure trove of random stuff. I find this weird lamp that looks like a mushroom. I’m like, “I need this in my life.”

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