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Favorite flick’s *The Act of Killing*—dark shit, man. “I’m a gangster,” them dudes say, braggin’ ‘bout murder like it’s a flex. Sex-dating’s got its own gangsters, tho—catfishers, creeps, n’ serial daters. Once saw a profile, chick said she’s “420 friendly,” but her pics? Stolen from some Insta model! Laughed my ass off, then got mad—why lie? “Gangsters live outside the law,” movie says. These fakes live outside reality, bro.

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Then, we hit up the Museo Archeologico. I’m a sucker for history, so I’m all in. There’s this ancient Roman stuff everywhere. I’m geeking out, and Marco’s just scrolling through his phone. Typical. But then, I see this old clock in a glass case. It’s stunning! I’m practically drooling. I’m like, “Dude, I could fix that in a heartbeat!” But the curator’s giving me the stink eye. I guess they don’t like watchmakers messing with their artifacts. Whatever.

Maltese abroad: Falzon in Palestrina for start of season