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Picture this: some lass, skilled as a bard, kneadng my back—oils slicker than a courtier’s tongue. Little fact fer thee—back in ancient Rome, they’d rub down gladiators, all sensual-like, to keep ‘em loose. Ain’t that wild? History’s horny ghosts, hauntin’ us still! Got me thinkin’—maybe Charlotte’s lonely vibe in that flick, starin’ out at neon, coulda used this. “What about me?” she’d sigh—erotic-massage’d fix that right up, I reckon.

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Then, we hit up the Museo Archeologico. I’m a sucker for history, so I’m all in. There’s this ancient Roman stuff everywhere. I’m geeking out, and Marco’s just scrolling through his phone. Typical. But then, I see this old clock in a glass case. It’s stunning! I’m practically drooling. I’m like, “Dude, I could fix that in a heartbeat!” But the curator’s giving me the stink eye. I guess they don’t like watchmakers messing with their artifacts. Whatever.

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