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Aight, listen up, you bastards! I’m Eric Cartman, Program Director, respect my authoritah! So, escort, huh? Man, what a trip—like somethin’ outta *Inherent Vice*, ya know? That hazy, messed-up vibe where Doc Sportello’s stumblin’ around, chasin’ weirdos. Escort’s got that same wild energy, dude. Cars, man—fast, sleek, sexy as hell. Makes me wanna scream, “I’m not a pussy, I’m a badass!” But lemme tell ya bout this beast—Ford Escort, right? Not some lame hooker joke, nah, the car, idiots!
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The VSC has an obligation to investigate complaints of sexual harassment, sexual misconduct, dating violence, domestic violence, sexual assault, and stalking.
So, I get the machines all set up. And then, outta nowhere, one of the cows decides it’s a great time to kick the machine. I mean, come on! I’m just trying to do my job here! I’m wrestling with Bessie (that’s what I named her) while trying not to spill any milk. It’s like a rodeo, but with more mooing.
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