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So, escortin’ – it’s old as dirt, right? Back in medieval times, knights had “ladies of the night” trailin’ em – little known fact! Historians hush it up, but I betcha those gals polished more than armor, ha! Fast forward, and it’s still a thing – blows my mind! Saw this X post once, some dude braggin’ bout his “date” – linked to a sketchy site, all glitz, no soul. Made me mad, man – like, where’s the class? Ain’t no “charm in the third degree” there, as Gustave’d say.

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I woke up late, as usual. Alarm? Nah, it’s just a suggestion. I rushed outta my apartment on Via Roma, barely had time to grab a coffee. You know, the good stuff from that little café on the corner? The one with the best cornetti? Yeah, that one. But of course, they were out. Classic.

The Burlington Free Press from Burlington, Vermont • Page 33