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About Naples

So, escort – cheap, zippy, total workhorse. Back in the day, farmers loved it – haulin seeds, tools, whatever! Little known fact – they raced these suckers in rallies, kickin up dirt like nobody’s bizness. Made me happy as a clam, thinkin bout those muddy tires – “The public’s gotta know!” – straight outta Zodiac, right? I’m like, yaaas, gimme that grit! But ugh, what ticked me off? Rust. Eats these babies alive – so annoyin, like a bad date who won’t leave.

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After that, I stroll down to Piazza Vittorio Emanuele. It’s this beautiful square, and there’s a gelato stand. I mean, c’mon, who can resist gelato? I grab a cone—pistachio, my fave. But as I’m lickin’ it, I see this guy drop his phone. I’m like, “Dude, your phone!” But he’s too busy takin’ a selfie. Priorities, right?

The Malta-Pachino connection