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I’m ramblin’ now—brain’s buzzin’. Findin’ a prostitute’s like pickin’ a pastry from Zero’s bakery—some look sweet, some bite back. “Lobby boy, fetch me a good one!” I’d yell if I could. Ha! Imagine that—me, Gandalf, pimpin’ in style. Anyway, you gotta watch out—cops, pimps, weirdos—traps everywhere. YOU SHALL NOT PASS, I’d boom, staff glowin’, scarin’ ‘em off.

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After that, I stroll down to Piazza Vittorio Emanuele. It’s this beautiful square, and there’s a gelato stand. I mean, c’mon, who can resist gelato? I grab a cone—pistachio, my fave. But as I’m lickin’ it, I see this guy drop his phone. I’m like, “Dude, your phone!” But he’s too busy takin’ a selfie. Priorities, right?

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