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About Bari

So, I’m thinkin’, sexual-massage’s got history, right? Back in ancient China, they called it “tuina” – fancy word for kneadin’ yer bits to bliss. Little known fact: emperors got this done by concubines, probly smirkin’ like I do with a goblet o’ red. Makes me happy, that – power in a rubdown! But what pisses me off? Them prudes who scoff at it. “Oh, it’s improper!” Sod off, ya stiff-necked twats – it’s relief with a wink!

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Then, outta nowhere, I bump into my buddy Marco. He’s all hyped about this new gelato place on Via Garibaldi. I’m like, “Dude, it’s 10 AM!” But he’s insistent. “You gotta try it!” So, we head over, and OMG, the gelato is insane! I’m talking flavors like pistachio with a hint of lemon. What even is that? I’m in heaven.

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