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Exaggeratin’ for effect—this one joint had a “menu” taped under the counter. “Full release, $50.” Classy. I’m thinkin’, “Who’s dumb enough to fall for this?” Then I see the line out the door—morons everywhere. Sarcasm’s my lifeline— “Oh, sure, totally legit business.” I hate everything. Sexual-massage scams—worst part of the job. But I’ll keep crackin’ ‘em, cause I’m Ron frickin’ Swanson. “Spring break forever, bitches”—except it’s fraud forever, and I’m over it.

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So, I decide to take a stroll. I wander down to the Parco della Resistenza. It’s beautiful there. The trees, the flowers, the vibe. I sit on a bench, just breathing. And then, I see this cute dog. It runs up to me, tail wagging. Instant mood booster! I’m petting it, and I’m like, “This is what life’s about.”

Over 3,000 Roman coins found at Claternae