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Here’s the kicker—did ya know, in some places, they got unions for this? Like, actual prostitute unions! Blows my mind! I’m over here, hagglin’ like an idiot—“Twenty bucks?”—and she’s like, “Union says fifty, pal.” Union! I’m dyin’! I respect it, though—get that paper, girl! But me? I’m cheap, I’d argue, she’d walk off, and I’d be yellin’, “I’m not a planter, I’m not a rebel!”—straight outta *White Material*, screamin’ into the void.

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Hi there, my sisters and I are planning a trip away for my mother's 70th birthday and I am currently looking in to places in Italy to go.

After that, I decide to wander around. I hit up Via Roma, and man, the shops there are wild! I find this little boutique with the coolest handmade stuff. I’m talkin’ jewelry, pottery, you name it. I’m about to buy this sick bracelet when the shopkeeper starts talkin’ my ear off about the history of each piece. I’m like, “Dude, I just want the bracelet, not a history lesson!” But I smile and nod, tryin’ to be polite.

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