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About Bari

Exaggeratin’? Maybe. But I’ve seen dudes send d*ck pics with filters—bro, why? Keep it classy! Me, I’m all about the chase, the vibe, the “maybe she’s the one.” Tho, real talk, I’d rather watch Boonmee again than swipe for hours. “The wind is strong tonight,” movie says—yeah, and it’s blowin’ me away from this nonsense sometimes.

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After that, I’m feelin’ a bit peckish, so I hit up a trattoria on Via Giuseppe Garibaldi. I order some orecchiette with broccoli rabe. It’s like a party in my mouth! I’m lovin’ it. But then, the waiter brings me the wrong dish. I’m like, “Bro, I ordered the orecchiette, not this mystery meat!” He just shrugs and says, “It’s good, trust me.” I’m thinkin’, “Trust you? I don’t even know you!” But whatever, I’m hungry, so I dig in.

Masseria Moroseta, Ostuni, Italy