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About Milan

Once, I heard this story—some chick in Vegas got paid in casino chips! True story, swear on my Duff! She’s all, “Cash me out, baby!”—hilarious, right? I’m laughin’, but then—D’oh!—I’m sad again, ‘cause it’s messy, ya know? These gals got lives, and here I am, a doofus, oglin’ ‘em. “Blessed are the forgetful,” I mutter, wishin’ I could zap this night outta my skull like Joel and Clem. Maybe I’ll stick to donuts—safer, cheaper, and Marge won’t kill me! D’oh!

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I sprint to the meeting spot, which is at this cute little café on Piazza del Comune. I’m sweating like a pig, and my hair’s a mess. I walk in, and everyone’s already there, looking all professional. I’m like, “Hey, sorry I’m late! Traffic, you know?” They totally buy it. Phew!

Paul Osimo Obituary (2013) - Delaware County, PA - The Hudson Sun