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About Naples

So, escorts – not the car, ha! – these birds or blokes, they’re pros, yeah? Met this one geezer, swear down, told me ‘e worked escortin’ posh types ‘round London, 80s vibe, all cocaine and big hair! Little known fact, mate – some escorts back then, they’d smuggle cigs on the side, dodgy as fuck! Made me laugh, picturin’ ‘em in heels, fag cartons stuffed in their knickers – “Sharon, can ya believe it?!”

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So, I’m trying to calm him down, right? But then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Marco. He’s at the beach, sending me pics of the waves crashing on Spiaggia di Marina. I’m like, “Really, man? You’re at the beach while I’m stuck here?” I mean, Orosei’s got some of the best beaches, and I’m here playing doctor. Ugh!

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