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About Palermo

Oh, and the lies! Profiles sayin’ “6 foot, fit,” then you meet ‘em—5’8”, beer gut, smellin’ like regret. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I’d say, if I could pick the liars out. Surprised me how bold they get—catfishin’ like it’s an Olympic sport. One time, this bloke sent me a dick pic, unasked! I’m like, “Mate, I didn’t order sausage!” Laughed my ass off, but also—eww, boundaries, ya pig!

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Finally, I get to the stall I need. The guy’s like, “No more stock.” WHAT?! I’m about to lose it. I mean, c’mon! I need those shirts for the festival next week. I’m tryin’ to keep my cool, but inside, I’m like a volcano ready to blow.

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