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So, erotic-massage—ooh, steamy stuff! Hands kneadin’, slippin’, tension meltin’ away—makes me tingle thinkin’ bout it! Little secret? Ancient Greeks did it—called it “anatripsis.” Horny philosophers, rubbin’ each other down after debates—wild, right? Saw this X post—some dude said it cured his back AND his blues. I’m like, “Homer could use that!” Hmm… but he’d probly fart mid-massage—ugh, so mad thinkin’ that!

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I’m walking down Corso Garibaldi, trying to figure out my life without my phone. It’s like being a caveman. I see this street performer, right? He’s playing the accordion, and I’m vibing. I toss him a couple of euros, and he gives me this huge smile. I’m like, “Dude, you just made my day!” But then, I trip over a cobblestone. Classic me. I’m sprawled out on the ground, and everyone’s staring. I laugh it off, but inside, I’m like, “Why, Omegna, why?”

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