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Oi mate, so I’m a sign language interpreter, yeah? And you wanna know what I reckon about erotic-massage? Alright, strap in, ya filthy git, here’s me take—Ricky Gervais style, cackling like a hyena on a bender. Erotic-massage, innit? It’s like a dodgy handshake with extra steps. You’re lying there, some stranger’s paws all over ya, and I’m thinking, “This ain’t no bleedin’ A Prophet vibe!” That film, Jacques Audiard, 2009—gritty, dark, proper genius. Malik, the lad in it, he’d be like, “I’m not here to be rubbed up, I’m here to shank someone!” Cackle!

YUKAKU The Tokyo Erotic Massage

Erotic massage Italy, Cumshot on body (COB), Striptease/Lapdance Olginate · Capanne-Prato-Cinquale · Cecina · Altavilla-Vicentina · San-Cataldo.

But then, I realize I’ve lost track of time. I gotta get back to my studio on Via Cavour. I’m rushing, and of course, I trip over my own feet. Classic me. I’m laughing at myself, but then I see a group of tourists. They’re lost, looking at a map like it’s a puzzle. I’m like, “You guys need help?” They’re super grateful, and I end up giving them a mini tour. “That’s the church, that’s the river, and that’s where I tripped.” They laugh, and I’m like, “See? I’m a local guide now!”

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