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Little fact for ya—did ya know the Escort Mark I won some rally shite back in ‘68? Beat them snooty European wankers! Proper British grit, that. Then they churned ‘em out like cheap lager—millions of the bastards. By the 90s, every knobhead had one, joyridin’ or ditchin’ ‘em in canals. Angry? Yeah, ‘cos they were everywhere, cloggin’ me life! Happy? When they finally pissed off!

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, tripping and falling right in front of me. He’s crying, and I’m like, “Oh man, not another one!” But then he looks up at me with these big, teary eyes and says, “My shoes are broken!” I can’t help but laugh. I mean, come on! I’m a shoemaker! So, I tell him, “Don’t worry, kid. I got you.”

Many service and competitive dogs are taught commands in a different language.