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Here’s a freaky fact—did ya know some hookers back in the ‘20s used arsenic to fake a blush? Nuts, right? Anyway, I’m chattin’ her up, tryna play it cool, but she’s all “50 bucks, no chit-chat,” and I’m like—damn, girl, I ain’t that desperate! Made me mad as hell—where’s the hustle, the charm? Just cold cash and a colder vibe. I’m yellin’ in my head, “Beetlejuice, don’t lose it!”

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By 10 AM, I’m already losing it. I get a call about a street vendor on Via Emilia selling “authentic” gelato. Turns out, it’s just frozen sugar water. I mean, c’mon! This is Italy! We take our gelato seriously! I send the cops to shut that down. No one messes with our gelato!

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