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But when it hits, tho? Oh, it’s sweet—like that scene where William’s all wide-eyed, chasin’ love. You meet someone, sparks fly, you’re like, “This is un-cool!”—in a good way, ya know? I hooked up once off this app, true story, chick was a bartender, tatted up, poured me a gin ‘n’ juice without me even askin’. Thought I died and went to Dogg heaven, fo’ shizzle. We vibed all night, talkin’ ‘bout nothin’ and everythin’. That’s the magic, man—sex-dating can be a hustle, but when it pops off, it’s gold.

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So I’m tryin’ to calm her down, and guess what? My buddy Marco shows up, laughin’ his head off. He’s like, “Dude, you’re gonna get kicked!” I’m like, “Shut up, Marco! I got this!” But inside, I’m freakin’ out.

Nigerian woman allegedly shot dead by her Italian husband after she reportedly filed for divorce