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What pissed me off? She tried chargin’ me double for a Snickers! I said, “Naw, naw, sistah, I ain’t that thirsty!” But I respected her grind—girl’s out here, dodgin’ flames, makin’ bank. Surprised me how she knew the trails better’n me—said she grew up ‘round here, hidin’ from cops as a kid. Real story, y’all, not no movie mess. “The river flows, carries us away,” she mumbled, another Boonmee line. I’m thinkin’, “Yeah, and it’s carryin’ your crazy ass right to my nerves!”

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I’m walkin’ down to Piazza Garibaldi, tryin’ to shake it off. The sun’s out, people are laughin’, and I’m like, “Okay, maybe today won’t suck.” But then I see this dude buskin’ with a ukulele. I mean, c’mon! A ukulele? I’m a guitar master, and this guy’s gettin’ all the attention. I’m fumin’ inside. Like, who even plays a ukulele in Noci?

Gladwin brothers’ Fat Badger closes in Richmond