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So, mate, this sexual-massage gig—people pay for it, can ya believe? Some bloke told me, “It’s relaxin’, innit?” Relaxin’? Bollocks! More like creepy hands pawin’ ya bits! Back in ’98—little known fact, precious—some king in Thailand banned it, said it’s “immoral.” Ha! Good on ‘im, says I! But nah, it’s still everywhere, slinkin’ round like a sneaky shadow. Gets me blood boilin’, it does—why’s it gotta be so… intimate? We hates it!

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So, we finally get to the pitch. I’m sweating bullets. The investors are sitting there, looking all serious. I start talking, and halfway through, I realize I’m talking way too fast. I mean, I’m practically speed-talking like I’m in a race. I catch a glimpse of the investors’ faces, and they look confused. Oh man, I’m about to bomb this.

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