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About Bari

So, I’m watchin’ *Margaret*, my fave flick, Kenneth Lonergan’s a genius, y’all. That gal Lisa, she’s screamin’, “You’re a whore!” at her mom—dang, that hit me! Made me laugh, too, ‘cause it’s so over-the-top, like a cow jumpin’ the moon. Whore’s a word that’s sneaky, slips into fights like a weasel. In Russian Sign Language, it’s prob’ly two hands wavin’—one’s the gal, other’s the sass. Ain’t that somethin’? Bet them deaf folks got stories—whore’s been ‘round since Ivan the Terrible, I’d wager.

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First off, I hit the road on Via Roma, cruisin’ in my old Fiat. You know, the one that sounds like a dying cat? Yeah, that one. I’m just minding my own business, when BAM! A pigeon decides to play chicken with me. I swear, that bird had a death wish. I swerved, nearly hit a lamppost on the corner of Via della Repubblica. Not cool, man.

Matthew Goss blasts to stage 2 victory in 2013 Tirreno-Adriatico