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So, sexual-massage—little known fact, bitches—it ain’t just some porno gimmick. Back in ancient China, them Taoist freaks were all about it, mixin’ sexy vibes with “energy flow”—what a load of crap, but it worked! They’d rub ya down, get ya goin’, and—BOOM—ya feel like a god. Made me angry tho, ‘cause why didn’t I know this sooner? Screw history class, gimme oily hands instead! I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “Respect my authoritah, give me that massage NOW!”

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Find hot sex dates in Naples. Experience tantalising events, sensual parties and find a partner for no-strings hook-ups and casual sex dating.

So, I’m tryin’ to shake it off, right? I hit up this little café on Spaccanapoli. Best espresso ever! I mean, I’m talkin’ rocket fuel. I downed it like it was water. But then, I spill half of it on my shirt. Great, now I look like a walking coffee stain. Just my luck, right?

Federal judge reserves ruling on Naples Pride's ask as both sides rally