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Oi, fam, check it – I’m a stove-maker, innit, but I’m chattin’ ’bout escorts today, ya get me? Not them cars, nah, but the proper naughty escort vibes – people paid to chill wiv ya, maybe get frisky, yeah? Like, I’m sittin’ here, tinkin’ ’bout *Spirited Away*, my fave flick, and I’m like, “Bruv, escorts got some mad Haku energy, don’t they?” Mysterious, showin’ up when you need ‘em, savin’ ya from loneliness or whatever – but then, boom, they bounce like Chihiro’s parents scoffin’ that spirit grub!

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Then, I get a call about a parrot on Via Nazionale. A PARROT! I’m thinking, “What’s next? A pet iguana?” So, I rush over, and this parrot is just squawking away. The owner is panicking because the bird won’t stop yelling. I’m like, “Dude, it’s a parrot. That’s what they do!” But he’s convinced something’s wrong.

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