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About Naples

So I’m stewin’, right? Angry as hell—why’s this gotta be so complicated? Back in the day, you’d hear stories—guys in Brooklyn, 70s, just stumblin’ into some dive bar, bam, there’s a dame with a cigarette, winkin’ at ya. Now? Now it’s all encrypted chats and “discreet encounters”—what am I, a spy? I’m not cut out for this! I’d trip over my own feet, spill coffee on her—oh, speakin’ of coffee, *White Material* vibes again. “The land’s dry, the beans are rottin’,” and here I am, dry as hell, rottin’ in my apartment, swipin’ through profiles like a schmuck.

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When I get there, it’s packed! I mean, who knew so many people would show up? Turns out, there was a mix-up with the schedule. People were mourning the wrong person! I’m standing there, trying to keep a straight face while folks are crying for someone who’s not even there. It was a mess! I’m thinking, “This is why I don’t do surprises.”

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