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I dig it, tho—Escort’s got soul. Not like them boring Toyotas, nah. This one time, my buddy Vinny? He had an Escort, cherry red, sweet ride. Took it to Coney Island, chicks everywhere—how you doin’? Felt like a king! But then—ugh, pissed me off—thing broke down. Middle of nowhere, steam pourin’ out, like some ghost from Boonmee’s jungle. “The past clings to us,” movie says. Yeah, clings like rust on that hood!

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But then, back to reality. I gotta deal with customers. This one guy comes in, and he’s all picky. “I want the best cut, but not too fatty, but not too lean.” I’m like, “Dude, you’re makin’ this harder than it needs to be!” But I keep my cool. I’m a pro, right?

Mariah Carey’s ex Tommy Mottola claims responsibility for her success in memoir