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About Milan

Hey, buddy, lemme tell ya—sex-dating’s wild. Like, real wild. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—boom—total game-changer. You know me, I’m Steve Jobs, right? Zen vibes, pause for effect… it’s like designing the iPhone, but hornier. Sex-dating’s all about that spark, that instant click. Swipe right, bam, you’re in. Kinda like defusing a bomb—tense, thrilling, could blow up anytime. Reminds me of “The Hurt Locker,” my fave flick. “The first rule of war…”—nah, scratch that—first rule of sex-dating? Don’t overthink it.

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First call comes in at 8 AM. It’s this dude, totally frantic, like he’s just seen a ghost or something. “I need to find my cat!” he yells. I’m like, “Bro, calm down. What’s the cat’s name?” Turns out, it’s named “Pasta.” I mean, c’mon, who names their cat Pasta? Anyway, I’m trying to help him, but he’s all over the place. “I saw him near Via Garibaldi!” I’m like, “Dude, that’s a busy street. You sure he’s not just chillin’ at the pizzeria?”

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