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Best bit? That slow glide, hands like Jesse James drawin’ his gun—deliberate, deadly good. “Coward Robert Ford” vibes, sneaky relief creepin’ up. Ever tried it with scented oil? Mate, lavender’s my pick—calms the soul after dodgin’ Blofeld’s goons. Exaggeratin’ a tad, maybe, but one sesh felt like I could take on ten Spectres, no sweat.

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After stuffing our faces, we decide to walk it off. We wander down to the old castle ruins on the hill. The view from up there is insane. You can see the whole valley, the mountains in the distance. I’m standing there, feeling all philosophical, like, “Wow, life is beautiful.” Then I trip over a rock. Classic me, right?