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So, picture this – me, sittin’ with a buddy, sippin’ beers, talkin’ dirty secrets. Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs, nah, it’s an art! Hands slidin’, oils drippin’, tension buildin’ like a damn solo. Little known fact – ancient Greeks did this crap, callin’ it “anatripsis,” rubbin’ down athletes, but I bet some sneaky bastard made it spicy! Don’t tell me they didn’t – I ain’t buyin’ that pure innocence BS.

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As the night rolled in, I decided to grab dinner at this little trattoria on Via Garibaldi. The food was bomb! I had the best pasta ever. Seriously, I could’ve eaten a mountain of it. But then, the waiter spilled wine all over my shirt. I was like, “Really?!” But he was super apologetic, and we ended up laughing about it.

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