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And the messages! Oh, the messages! This one guy—yeah, I peeked at both sides, don’t judge—sends, “Hey, u up?” at 2 a.m. Real original, Casanova! I’m thinkin’, “This ain’t no bottle of Mouton Rothschild ’45, pal—you’re not impressin’ anyone!” Back in the day, you had to WORK for it, y’know? Little known fact: first sex-dating site popped up in ’95—Match.com, can ya believe it? Buncha nerds in dial-up land tryna get laid. Now it’s all “DTF?” and dick pics. Progress? I’m furious! Where’s the class? Where’s the buildup? I’m not sayin’ I want a telegram sayin’, “Meet me for coitus, stop,” but c’mon!

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But hey, I get up, dust myself off, and keep walking. I’m not letting a little kid ruin my vibe. So, I head over to the Duomo di Montichiari. That place is stunning! The architecture? Chef’s kiss. I’m standing there, just admiring it, when this old dude starts chatting me up. He’s like, “You know, this church has been here since the 12th century.” I’m like, “Yeah, man, I can see that.” But he goes on and on about the history. I’m nodding, but inside, I’m thinking, “Dude, I just wanna enjoy the view.”

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