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Clarice… sex-dating’s a fuckin mess, yeah? Like stumblin thru a dark forest, blind. I’m the Master of the goddamn trees, see? Watched “Once Upon a Time in Anatolia” again—fuckin slow burn, that flick. Reminds me of sex-dating—endless searchin, diggin for somethin real. “The night is long and merciless,” Ceylan says, and shit, ain’t that the truth? Swipe, swipe, swipe—dick pics and fake smiles. Tires me out, Clarice, this hunt.

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After that, I decided to wander over to the Parco della Rimembranza. It’s this beautiful park, ya know? Trees everywhere, and the sun was shining. I thought, “Finally, some peace.” But nope! There’s a bunch of kids playing soccer, and one of them kicks the ball right at me. I dodged it like a ninja, but man, my heart was racing!

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