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About Bari

So, sex-dating – it’s quick, dirty, no faff. You’re chattin’ some bird, she’s like, “Wanna bang?” No dinner, no “Oh, you’re so deep” crap. Straight to the shaggin’, like animals – brilliant! Made me happy first time, proper buzzin’. But then, fuck me, the clowns show up. Bloke says he’s 6’2”, rolls up 5’4” – what’s this, a hobbit audition? Idiot sandwich! I’m ragin’, spittin’ feathers over here.

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Then I bumped into my buddy Marco. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he tells me he saw a guy trying to sell gelato from a bicycle. Like, who does that? But then he adds, “And the gelato was melting all over him!” I couldn’t stop laughing. I mean, who needs a circus when you’ve got Monticello-Conte-Otto?

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