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Aight, listen up, ya friggin' morons! I’m Eric Cartman, from Hawaii, bitches, and I’m here to tell ya ‘bout escorts. RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH! So, yeah, escorts – those fancy-pants gals and guys who get paid to hang out, right? Like, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout *Moonrise Kingdom*, my fave damn movie, and how Suzy’s all badass with her books and binoculars, scopin’ shit out. Escorts are kinda like that – they scope YOU out, but with more, uh, *servicin’*. Heh, sweet!

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Finally, I wrap up my day. I’m exhausted but kinda pumped. I hit up a local trattoria, Trattoria da Gino. The food? To die for! I order the pici cacio e pepe. It’s like a hug in a bowl. I’m sitting there, scarfing it down, and I can’t help but think, “This is why I love Montevarchi.”

MX1 race results: Italian Championship RD3 – Montevarchi – Pancar goes 1-1