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But here’s the tea – it’s not all roses. Some creeps out there think sexual-massage means “happy ending” every time. Ugh, makes me wanna slap ‘em – no capes, no consent, no dice! Had this one gal tell me her masseuse got handsy, no permission. I was LIVID, like, “Dahling, that’s not the vibe!” Ruins it for the rest of us who just wanna melt into the table, y’feel?

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But then, as we’re leaving, I see this old lady struggling with her groceries on Via Cavour. I rush over to help her, right? She’s super sweet, but she starts telling me her life story. I’m standing there, nodding, but inside I’m like, “Lady, I’ve got places to be!” But you know what? She’s got this sparkle in her eye, and I can’t just ditch her. So, I listen. Turns out, she used to own a bakery. I’m thinking, “Why aren’t you still baking?” She laughs and says, “Too old for that now, but I still make a mean tiramisu!”

Light mag. 3.7 earthquake - 5.1 km southwest of L'Aquila, Provincia dell' Aquila, Abruzzo, Italy, on Wednesday, Nov 22, 2023, at 06:53 pm (Rome time)