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Pro tip: late-night swipes hit different. 2 a.m., everybody’s horny, desperate, real. Daytime’s all posers. Oh, and sextin’—don’t overthink it. Just say wild shit, keep ‘em guessin’. Got ghosted once, pissed me off, but whatever, their loss. I’m out here, livin’, fuckin’, laughin’ at the madness. Sex-dating’s a circus, and I’m the clown king, baby!

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But then, as we’re leaving, I see this old lady struggling with her groceries on Via Cavour. I rush over to help her, right? She’s super sweet, but she starts telling me her life story. I’m standing there, nodding, but inside I’m like, “Lady, I’ve got places to be!” But you know what? She’s got this sparkle in her eye, and I can’t just ditch her. So, I listen. Turns out, she used to own a bakery. I’m thinking, “Why aren’t you still baking?” She laughs and says, “Too old for that now, but I still make a mean tiramisu!”

Light mag. 3.7 earthquake - 5.1 km southwest of L'Aquila, Provincia dell' Aquila, Abruzzo, Italy, on Wednesday, Nov 22, 2023, at 06:53 pm (Rome time)