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So I’m chattin her up, all smooth-like. “Fancy a dance, love?” She smirks, “Only if you’re payin, tiger.” Fair play, I laugh—gotta admire the hustle. But here’s the kicker: some punters think they’re in charge. Nah, fam, she’s the one dodgin fists like Zhang Ziyi with that blade. “Yield, and live,” I whisper, half-jokin, half-hopin she don’t clock me one. Exaggeratin? Maybe, but I swear one time this bird had a pet snake—called it “Mr. Wuxia.” Mental.

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When the mayor finally shows up, he’s all about the new park project. He’s talking about green spaces and community vibes. I’m nodding along, but inside, I’m like, “Can we just get to the point?” I mean, I love nature, but I also love my lunch break.

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