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About Naples

But real talk—sometimes it’s awkward, yeh? Like, “where’s them hands goin’?” Had this one masseuse, too chatty—shut up, let me zen out! Still, I’m obsessed, it’s me secret weapon. Teeth grindin’ all day, then bam—sexual-massage fixes me up. “What’re we doing here, Mom?”—like in *Boyhood*—I’m just tryna feel alive, fam! So, get yerself one, trust me—it’s outta this world, cosmic as me voice! *Beep boop*, over n out!

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First off, I had to get my hair done. You know, the whole geisha look with the elaborate hairstyles and all that jazz. I went to this cute little salon on Via Garibaldi. The lady there, Maria, is a legend. But today? She was running late. Like, super late. I’m sitting there, tapping my foot, thinking, “C’mon, I’ve got places to be!”

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