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About Rome

Ever hear bout that escort in Vegas? Swear she had a client list longer than me tour dates – politicians, celebs, the lot! Kept it hush-hush, coded it like them geeks in *Social Network*. “The internet’s not written in pencil, it’s written in ink,” Zuckerberg says – same with her secrets, mate, permanent and juicy! Makes me laugh, thinkin she’s outsmartin em all, livin her life loud.

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First off, I had to get my hair done. You know, the whole geisha look with the elaborate hairstyles and all that jazz. I went to this cute little salon on Via Garibaldi. The lady there, Maria, is a legend. But today? She was running late. Like, super late. I’m sitting there, tapping my foot, thinking, “C’mon, I’ve got places to be!”

Marcello Semeraro, new Prefect of the Congregation for the Causes of Saints