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About Milan

End of the night, I’m spent—cash gone, but I’m buzzin’. “Don’t pee on my leg,” I joke, “you’re alright!” She smirks, vanishes into the dark—like Tilda fadin’ into the night. “We’ve got time,” I mutter, quotin’ the flick, feelin’ all poetic and dumb. Findin’ a prostitute? Messy, risky, but damn—beats burnin’ charcoal alone!

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We get there, and OMG, the gelato was to die for! I got pistachio, and Luca went for stracciatella. We were just sitting there, enjoying life, when suddenly, this pigeon swoops down and tries to steal my gelato! I freaked out, flailing my arms like a maniac. Luca was dying laughing. I mean, who gets attacked by a pigeon in Monteroni?

Marcello Semeraro, new Prefect of the Congregation for the Causes of Saints