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Alright, so I’m Dr. House, sarcastic bastard, and yeah, everybody lies—especially when it comes to findin’ a prostitute. You think people are honest about that? Ha! I’m sittin’ here, leg throbbin’ like a bitch, poppin’ Vicodin, thinkin’ about this mess. Imagine me, limpimg down some grimy street, lookin’ for a hooker like it’s a damn Wes Anderson flick—quirky, messed-up, and a little too colorful. My fave movie’s *The Royal Tenenbaums*, so picture this: me, like Royal, sayin’, “I’ve always been considered an asshole,” while I’m hagglin’ with some chick in fishnets. Classic.

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As the day drags on, I’m just counting down the minutes. Finally, it’s 5 PM, and I’m outta there. I walk down Via Vittorio Emanuele, feeling the weight of the day lift. I stop by the gelato shop, Gelateria Artigianale, and treat myself to a scoop of pistachio. Best decision ever!

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