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Favorite story—heard this from a patient, swear it’s true. Guy meets a gal on some sleazy site, they’re chattin’, sextin’, all that jazz. She says, “Come over, I’m wild.” He shows up—turns out she’s a dominatrix, got a dungeon in her garage! Whips, chains, the works! He’s like, “Uh, I just wanted a BJ,” and she’s all, “Bow, peasant!” Ran outta there faster than Usain Bolt. Hilarious, but damn, that’s sex-dating for ya—expectations vs. reality, total trainwreck.

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Finally, I make it to the library. It’s quiet, too quiet. I’m thinking, “Where is everyone?” Turns out, there’s a water main break on Via San Pio X. Classic Montegrotto, right? Just when you think you’re gonna have a chill day, the universe laughs in your face.

World’s deepest swimming pool is a terrifying 131-foot pit of doom