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I tried it, man, fuckin’ Tinder roulette. Matched this chick, hot as hell, profile screamin’ “DTF.” We vibe, we chat, then bam—ghosted! Pissed me off, motherfucker! Wasted my damn time, like Yi Yi’s NJ waitin’ on love. But then, yo, this other time—met a freak who sexted me Morse code. Dots and dashes for “fuck me”—true story! Blew my mind, had me laughin’ like a crazy bastard.

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Next, I swing by the local market on Via Garibaldi. Man, the vibe there is always buzzing! Fresh fruits, veggies, and the smell of homemade pasta. I’m drooling. I grab some tomatoes and basil, thinking I’ll whip up a nice dinner later. But then, I see this guy selling these massive, juicy peaches. I’m like, “I need those!” So, I buy a bunch.

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