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Now, lemme tell ya, I saw one the other day—rusted heap, bless its heart, still chuggin’ like it owned the road. Made me happy as a pig in mud! I mean, who don’t love an underdog? But—Lordy, don’t get me started—I saw some fool peel out in one, tires screamin’ like a banshee, and I thought, “Honey, that *Escort* ain’t built for that!” Made me madder’n a wet hen—give the lil darlin’ some respect!

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So, I shake it off, laughing it off, but then I see this old guy on the corner of Via Garibaldi. He’s yelling at a kid for riding his bike too close. I mean, c’mon, it’s a bike, not a tank! I’m thinking, “Chill, grandpa!” But then I realize, maybe he’s just worried. Old folks can be like that, right?

Eboli's Crematorium Project Sparks Debate