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About Naples

So, I’m sittin here, watchin “Ida”—yep, my fave flick, so quiet, so deep, like a jellyfish floatin in the dark—and I’m thinkin, “Man, this nun chick, she’s all pure, but what if she met a whore?” Like, not literal, but the idea, ya know? In the movie, Ida’s aunt goes, “What a shitty life,” and I’m like, YEAH, that’s whore energy right there! Rough, messy, in yer face! Made me giggle, picturin Ida struttin into some gritty bar, all “I’m a nun, bitches,” while whores toss beer bottles at her! Hahaha!

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First call comes in at 8 AM. It’s some dude from Via San Giuseppe. He’s all frantic, like, “My cat’s stuck in a tree!” I’m like, “Bro, it’s a cat, not a rocket scientist.” But I get it, I mean, cats are like little furry ninjas. So, I send him to the local fire dept. They’re legends, always ready to save the day.

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