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About Naples

Halleluyer! Chile, lemme tell ya ‘bout them sex escorts! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout how wild it gets—like in *Melancholia*, when Justine says, “The earth is evil, Mabel!”—and I’m like, honey, some o’ these escort folks prolly feel that too! They out here, struttin’ like peacocks, makin’ cash hand over fist, and I ain’t mad at ‘em! Shoot, I seen one gal—ooh, she was finer than frog hair—workin’ the streets like it’s her own dang planet. Made me happy as a pig in mud, ‘cause she owned it!

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Finally, I head back to the office, thinking I can catch a break. Nope! My phone blows up with messages. The community is buzzing about a new park opening on Via della Repubblica. Everyone’s hyped, and I’m like, “Yesss, let’s get this party started!” But then I realize I gotta organize a whole event. My brain’s like, “What did I sign up for?”

Briton who said he was abducted and tortured in Italy 'staged the kidnapping,' his 'captors' claim