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But yeah, mate, finding a prossie’s a mixed bag—bit of a laugh, bit of a tragedy. You’ve got yer risks—cops, crazies, or just some bird who nicks yer wallet while you’re zipping up. Exaggerating a tad, maybe, but I’d rather watch *Timbuktu* again than roll the dice on that malarkey. “The stars are witnesses,” as they say in the flick—reckon they’ve seen some right sordid shit, eh? Anyway, you asked, I delivered—now sod off and sort yerself out! Ha!

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Then, I spot this guy on Via della Libertà. He’s tryin’ to sneak in with a fake ID. I mean, c’mon! I’ve seen better fakes in a kindergarten art class. I call him out, and he gets all defensive. “It’s legit!” he says. I’m like, “Bro, I can see the crayon marks.”

Sassari, takes supermarket takings and runs away