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About Florence

So, sexual-massage—think slow hands, oiled up, tension meltin’. It’s old, too—ancient Rome had it, gladiators gettin’ rubbed down, horny and hyped. Little fact for ya: Japan’s got this “nurumassage,” slidin’ bodies, wet and weird—blew my mind! I tried it once, legit, felt like a champ—happy as hell, floatin’. But yo, some parlors? Shady. Got mad when this dude rushed me—five minutes, out! Ain’t no champ’s treatment, man.

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After that fiasco, I decide to hit up the old town. You know, the narrow streets of Porto Ercole? So picturesque, but also a maze. I’m wandering around, trying to find this little trattoria I heard about. I finally find it, and it’s closed! Closed! I’m like, “What’s the point of being a foodie in Monte-Argentario if I can’t eat?”

Argentario Golf & Wellness Resort: The All-Natural Resort Hosting the 2025 Italian Open