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Now, I’ve seen folks get all uppity ‘bout it, like it’s some dirty secret, and that ticks me off! Makes me madder than a wet hen! Why’s it gotta be taboo? Back in the day, ancient Greeks were all ‘bout it – called it “anatripsis,” fancy word for rubbin’ down with oils, and they weren’t shy neither! Even had it in bathhouses, buck naked, no shame. Little known fact, y’all – them pharaohs in Egypt? They got sexual-massages with scented oils, thinkin’ it’d get ‘em closer to the gods. Wild, right?

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, seriously? I just got my hair done! I dash for cover under this old tree. It’s kinda beautiful, though. The rain on the leaves, the smell of wet earth. I’m standing there, feeling all poetic, when I see an old lady walking her dog. The dog’s just like, “Rain? What rain?” and splashes right through a puddle. I’m dying laughing.

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