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About Bari

So, sex-dating—man, it’s a jungle. Apps like Grindr, Bumble, whatever, they’re all the same. People actin’ all hot n’ heavy, droppin’ lines like, “Wanna Netflix n’ chill?” Yeah, okay, buddy, chill with what—your crusty socks? I tried it once—swear to God, chick said she’s “adventurous,” code for “I’ll ghost ya after one drink.” Infuriating! Wasted my damn time. Coulda been watchin’ *Spotlight* again, gettin’ mad at the world instead of some flake. “You can’t handle the truth!”—damn right, ‘cause it’s buried under filters and fake moans.

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So, I’m strolling down Via Roma, right? Just vibin’, coffee in hand, feeling like a boss. Then BAM! I trip over some cobblestones. Like, who even designed these streets? They’re like a mini obstacle course! I’m all “What the heck, Montale?” but I laugh it off. Gotta keep it light, ya know?

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