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I tried it once, right, in Moscow—proper swanky joint, felt like a king! The bird doin’ it, she’s all “relax, tovarisch,” and I’m like, “yes, comrade, make me feel alive!” Got me so happy I nearly cried—swear down, I was hummin’ “Sweet Child o’ Mine” in me head. But then—get this—the geezer next door starts moanin’ like a bleedin’ walrus, ruined the vibe! Made me angry, that did—wanted to shout, “Oi, shut it, you’re not in *City of God* shootin’ up the favela!” “This is my turf, my rules!”—y’know, that vibe.

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I decide to cool off and head to the Duomo. It’s beautiful, man! The architecture is insane. I’m standing there, just soaking it all in, when this little kid runs by, chasing a soccer ball. He kicks it, and guess where it lands? Right at my feet! I pick it up, and he’s all like, “Can I have it back?” I’m like, “Sure, but only if you promise to be a future Master of the Forest!” He laughs and runs off. Kids are great, man.

Table 2 Potential causes of an isolated prolongation of the APTT